


Keep Us Safe Behind Your Shield

by SleepingInTheMeadow



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingInTheMeadow/pseuds/SleepingInTheMeadow
Summary: What would Snow and Regina’s relationship be like if Regina never took the infertility potion? SnowQueen endgame.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. I Don’t Mind Your Insanity

Snow

Regina always loved the gardens. Of all the places she spent her time at, she spent the most time in the gardens, sitting under her apple tree, sometimes holding a flower limply in her hands. I tried to join her, but she said that it was her alone time, and that she wasn’t to be disturbed.

Instead of being with her, I watched her. Sometimes she’d be out there for a moment, sometimes she’d be there from sunrise to set. I didn’t care, as long as she was in my line of vision. When she’s in the garden for more than an hour, I read a book, sometimes finish my lessons, I might even try my hand at sketching something. I loved drawing, but I’m no good. Father always tells me that my drawings are exquisite, and that they should be put up somewhere, but I disagree.

Regina is honest with me when she sees my sketches or paintings. I’ll say that I believe her, and not father, when she says that they shouldn’t be shown to the public eye. She says that Father has an awful taste in paintings. Normally, I would tell father that Regina joked about that, but she said it was our secret.

This is all strange to me. I don’t feel for her the way I felt for Mother. I don’t know _what_ I feel for her. I don’t think I love her like a sister, or a cousin, or anything.The last time I felt this way was at a ball a few years ago, with a boy I met. I didn’t dare call it love, because I’ve read that you just _feel it._ I know I love her, but I just don’t know _how_ I loved her. I don’t know if I feel it, because I’ve never felt anything like this. If I call it love, I’m afraid of being wrong.

I know Regina doesn’t like living here. She thinks she can hide it from everyone, but I know when she’s sad. Even if I know she’s sad, I don’t know what about, or why. Father is good to her, and she gets free reign around the palace and courtyard. Does she miss home? She told me once that her mother wasn’t nice to her, but when I asked further, she shouted at me and kicked me out of her room.

Even when she was angry at someone, she became happy again in the garden. Mother always gave me snowbells when I was sad or angry, so maybe I could cheer her up with flowers. I hopped off my chair and out of my room to find Regina’s maid.

“Excuse me Evelyn, can I ask you something,” I asked her.

“Of course.”

“What is Regina’s favourite flower?” She cocked her head in confusion and wrinkles appeared at the corners of her eyes. “She’s sad, so I wanted to get something for her.” She nodded and thought.

“Well, I’ve seen her admiring many flowers, but I think her favourites are daffodils, hydrangeas, and larkspur. Do you know which those are?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you.” She nodded and manouevered around me as I ran through the halls excitedly. I was going to make Regina happy, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I grinned to myself as I went through the flower beds and plucked a single daffodil, hydrangea, and a larkspur. I ran all the way through the castle again, and I had to stop myself to catch my breath before bursting through her door to give her the flowers.

Once my heart rate was back on track, I ran through the door. Regina was bent over her chamber pot, retching. I grimaced, and once she stopped, she lifted her head and turned to me with an ice-cold glare aimed at me.

“What do you think you’re doing,” she growled.

“I wanted to give you flowers to cheer you up. Are you feeling well?”

“Do you think I’m feeling well,” she asked sarcastically, before turning back to the pot and throwing up once more. She called to me over her shoulder. “And what makes you think I need cheering up?”

“Because, you looked sad.”

“I never talked to you today.”

“I was…watching you. When you were in the garden earlier.”

“Did I give you _permission_ to stalk me? Or are you planning to execute me?”

“N-no, I didn’t-I don’t want you dead.”

“Then why are you watching me?”

“Because I don’t have anything to do,” I lied. She scoffed.

“Leave, before I give you a _reason_ to execute me.” I gasped.

“I’m telling father,” I said.

“Aren’t you a little old to tattle on me?”

“Not if you’re threatening me.” She seemed to have stopped feeling sick, because she rocked back on her heels and stood up.

“I never threatened you, and you can’t let your father know about this. About any of this.”

“Why? You’re feeling ill, and you said something hurtful.”

“I don’t _care_ if it’s hurtful,” she hissed. I flinched, and she straightened up and removed any emotion from her face. “Your father cannot know _anything_ about this. Okay? It can be another of our secrets.”

“Why don’t you want Father to know? He can get the doctor for you, and if your feeling more ill, they can give you medicine or tea. Tea always helps when I’m sick. This one time, I got so-“

“Leave, Snow. Please. I need to be alone right now.”

“Why do you want to be alone? I don’t want to be alone when _I’m_ sick.” I heard her speak under her breath, but she quickly told me to leave afterwards.

“Are you sure? I can get you something to eat to settle your stomach-“

“Snow, when I say I don’t want visitors, I mean little girls are not welcome in my company at the moment.”

“I’m not little-"

“Now.” I sighed and handed her the flowers I picked before leaving. When I closed the door, I could hear her dashing off somewhere. No doubt it was back to the chamber pot. I couldn’t stop now. I didn’t want to. The thought of Regina being sick without being tended to made _me_ feel sick. Nobody deserves to be sick and miserable. Especially her.

I ran through the corridors once more and ignored the palace staff telling me to slow down. I could slow down when I carry a teapot for Regina back upstairs. I turned the corners into the kitchen and panted out my request of ginger tea and honey. The cook handed me a tray of tea that a maid boiled up, with two teacups, a small pot of honey, and cookies. I grinned and offered my thanks, before going through the halls much slower.

I balanced the tray over my arms as I turned the knob of her door. When I walked in, she wasn’t knelt over her chamber pot anymore, she was in her bed, laying on her back with her hands covering her abdomen.

“I told you to _leave._ Do I need to call someone to take you to your room?”

“No, I came with tea and cookies. Ginger tea and honey always makes me feel better.” She sat up with her hands over her belly still, but her face looked warmer than before. “May I join you?” She paused and thought.

“Fine, I guess. There are too many cookies for myself anyway.” I bit back a chuckle and sat down on the bed next to her. She carefully sipped her tea, cringing back.

“It’s just been made, so it’s still hot.” She nodded understandingly and set her cup back down onto the tray.

“How did you know those flowers are my favourites?”

“I watch you in the gardens, of course I’d pick up on those things.” She snickered and tentatively grabbed and bit into a cookie. “Feel better?”

“Not quite yet.” I shot her a sympathetic smile, before eating a cookie. We sat in silence for a while, but I think she needed it. She didn’t even have to tell me how often I talk.

“Why don’t you want anyone to know you’re sick?”

“People _do_ know I’m sick. You and Evelyn, and probably the chef.”

“But why do you want me to keep it from Father? He’d want to know when you’re sick, and I don’t think it’s any different.”

“Because I…don’t want to bother him.”

“You wouldn’t bother him-“

“-Just stop, Snow. I don’t want it brought up again.” I nodded and sipped my tea. I normally don’t like ginger tea, but the chef knows I like my tea with honey. She didn’t seem to mind the taste of the ginger tea, but she still spooned in a dash of honey.

“When I’m sick, I like having my hair brushed. Do you want me to brush your hair?” She hesitated for a moment, then nodded defeatedly and pointed to her vanity, where her brush was sitting in the middle. I hopped off her bed to grab it and jumped back on. I kneeled behind her and ran it through her hair gently. She made a small noise of content, before silencing herself.

“You have beautiful hair,” I said ardently. She didn’t respond, and I didn’t expect her to. I always told her she was pretty, but she never gave a reply. She’d only just roll her eyes and push me aside. She’s stunning, but she doesn’t even believe it. Sometimes I don’t believe I’m pretty either, even when everyone says I’m the fairest in all the realms. I think they’re lying.

I heard her sigh contendedly, but she didn’t cut herself off with a grunt this time.

“After dinner, do you want me to ask the maids to draw a bath? I’m sure a bath would help.” She nodded curtly as I continuously ran the brush through her chocolaty lockes. “See? Nobody ever wants to be alone when you’re sick. Not even you.” She chuckled dryly and turned around.

“I never said I wanted your company. I was forced to endure it.” She grabbed the brush out of my hands and put it next to the candle on her nightstand. “And I don’t feel like dinner tonight.” She pulled the covers over her body and wrapped herself up.

“Okay then. If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay here. Maybe the maids can bring your bath in here for tonight.”

“Yes, I’d like my bath in here.” She smiled shakily and burrowed herself further under the covers.

“Would you mind if I read a bit of my book.” She sighed and rolled her eyes slightly.

“Be my guest, Princess.” I smiled and patted her shoulder gently before leaving the room to grab my book from my own chambers. I ran into Evelyn again, and I asked her to bring Regina’s bath to her room, and to bring my dinner as well.

When I came back with my book under my arms, Regina was asleep, bent over and resting her face on a mountain of covers. I wish I could capture this moment, when a woman so hot and cold could be so…neutral. I wish she was calmer all the time. I didn’t want to wake her, but she couldn’t sleep like this. I gave her shoulders a light shove so she fell back against the pillows. I brought the blanket up to her chin and watched her, free of the emotions she typically donned, replaced by tranquility and a little bit of happiness. I wanted to know what she was dreaming about, but she was fast asleep.

I sat next to her and opened my book. Reality soon became a distant memory, except for Regina. She was inching closer to me, slowly but surely. By the time I finished five chapters, Regina had her arms wrapped around me in a tight grip. Her skin was soft and warm, and her hands wandered to my belly and drew invisible patterns into the material of my clothes.

Roughly two hours passed before the maids came in with her bath and my food, and Regina was clinging to my entire body. She was just groggily waking up when the maids left. She shook her head and focused her slightly-crossed eyes on me. Once she could see me properly, she jumped back and pulled the covers to her nose. She was teetering on the edge of the bed, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

“I didn’t want to wake you, but I now think that I should’ve,” I said. She laughed dryly.

“Yes, you should’ve woken me, before…that.” She adjusted herself on the bed and swept her hair back. “Did you start it?” Her voice was back to being threatening and irritated.

“What? No, I wouldn’t do that; not when you’re _sleeping.”_ She blushed slightly and nodded.

“Let’s just forget about it. I’m going to take my bath.” I nodded and watched from the bed as she was about to remove her dress.

“Let me rephrase that; I’m taking my bath, get out.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can bathe myself. I’m sick, not incapacitated, but thanks for the concern.”

“Do you _want_ to be alone? I can stay, if you want.”

“No. Leave.” I nodded and hung my head as I collected the dishes from our tea. My hand was on the doorknob, when she called to me:

“Snow, wait.” I turned around with a smile on my face. “Stop smiling.” I straightened my face and put the tray on her dresser. “Turn around.”

“Why?”

“Because in order to bath, I can’t have _clothes_ on.” I formed an ‘o’ with my mouth and turned quickly. There were bubbles in the tub already so I couldn’t see her through the water, but I didn’t mind in the slightest. I’ve seen a few revealing sculptures in my art history book, but I didn’t just ‘not mind,’ though I feel like she would immediately kick me out if I said that.

I heard the water slosh in the tub, and I turned around quickly. I caught a glimpse of her chest, but nothing much. She smirked as I knelt in front of the tub and crossed my arms over the lip of the bathtub. She washed her hair and scrubbed herself with the soap bar, while I averted my eyes everytime she came close to revealing herself.

“Do you know _why_ you aren’t feeling well,” I asked her.

“I think I ate something bad. I’ll ask the doctor to check up on me before bed.” I nodded and watched her run the soap up her arms, then down below the water. She reached behind her and twisted in the water, trying to get to her back.

“Do you need help with your back?” She grumbled a bit, but shoved the soap in my direction forcefully. I nodded and kept quiet as she turned in the tub and drew her knees to her chest. I silently washed her back gently, then put the soap back into the dish.

“Your hair is messy,” Regina said. I laughed a bit and nodded.

“Can you brush my hair then?” She nodded, slightly irked.

“Why do you like having your hair brushed by other people. Can’t you do it yourself?”

“I can, but it feels calming when someone else does it. You’re the best at it.” She smiled to herself proudly, as I went back to her nightstand to grab her brush. I brought it back and sat in front of the tub, legs crossed. She ran the brush through my unruly curls ever so gently, and I felt drowsy. She handed me the brush back, and I heard the water sloshing again. On instinct, I turned around to see what was happening. Regina was climbing out, and didn’t see me looking. I quickly turned back before I could get another eyeful of her curving body.

She wrapped a towel around her body and grabbed a smaller towel to wring out her hair.

“I think it’s best if you went back to your chambers now.” I took the hint and gathered up the tray of tea and my book. My ears strained to hear what she was muttering, and it sounded a lot like ‘thank you.’ I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say thank you to anyone, other than Evelyn and the chef. I smiled to myself as I wound around the corridors to the kitchen.


	2. We’re Okay, Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m here now with an update! I haven’t given up yet, not that anyone cares, but here we are! On with the story! Please send feedback, and I hope you enjoy!

It was hard not to worry for Regina. She told me not to, that she was working on kicking this illness of hers. She was even telling me she wasn’t sick at all, but after three days of watching her around the castle, I noticed her cheeks seemed more hollow and her skin brighter somehow. Even sick, she’s still absolutely stunning.

Father hasn’t noticed she’s sick yet, but Regina had advised me not to tell father, so I did good on my promise. He was going away for a week on business and offered to take me along, but I decided to stay with Regina. Even if she wasn’t sick, she was looking more gloomy as the hours ticked by and I didn’t want to leave her here by herself.

She has everything she could ever want, and yet she’s unhappy. She has a kind-hearted husband, a large castle for her to roam around, she has freedom to ride her horse around the castle land whenever she pleases, a very talented chef that could whip up nearly any food she desires, chamber maids to tend to her every need, and a garden almost all to herself. I wouldn’t be unhappy if I had all those things. And I did, for the most part. I still didn’t have a horse of my own yet, but I borrow father’s so I can learn how to ride before getting my own. As for the husband, I don’t have one either, but father said he might consider finding a suitor in as little as three years.

I didn’t want to be wed off so soon. I didn’t think I was nearly mature enough, but when I think about it, Regina’s been in our palace for almost a year and she’s turning 18 soon. It still scared me, I could be betrothed to King George for all I knew, and he scares me. Regina got lucky, but I may not be.

Today, the castle was nearly silent. Not very many servants worked when father was off on a trip. My father had no use for them when he’s gone so he dismisses most of them when he leaves. He never dismisses Johanna, but I hope sometime he does. I love her dearly, but I get tired of people following me like I’m a fragile, newborn kitten.

It was during these days I liked to discover new parts of the castle, or visit old parts of it and find a hidden secret. There seemed to be many in the palace, and I haven’t discovered them all yet. My favourite was the library. I read a book where a girl was exploring a library and she pulled on one book to take it out. Instead, it opened a passage behind the bookshelf, leading to a secret garden with fairies. I’ve pulled on two whole shelves of books to try and find a passage like that, but it never lead to anywhere but a few interesting books I read after pulling on them.

I didn’t know where Regina was at the moment, but I suspected she was riding. She rode more frequently when father was out. I never had permission to ride without father there, so I always watched her glide around the field, looking strong and free. I couldn’t imagine being able to ride like her, she must have so much fun being able to go so fast, and even have a deep connection of love with her horse.

I’ve asked her if I could ride with her, but she always says I’d slow her down. Instead, she urged me to go play somewhere else. I never liked when she dismissed me like that, but riding was her time not to be disturbed by me, as Johanna said.

This time when she was riding, it was different. It must’ve been from her illness because she seemed to be going a bit slower than usual and her muscles were drawn taught and stiff like a bow. It piqued my interest more than the book I was reading. She directed Rocinante back to the stable across the courtyard, while I was left staring at her back.

I leapt off the armchair I was seated at and ran to the kitchens. I requested peppermint tea and a treat for the both of us and waited in her chambers. The maids dropped off our foods as Regina came in, heaving in air. I gave her a minute to catch a breath and the maid looked concerned.

“What is the meaning of this?” She asked.

“I thought we could have tea and muffins.” Regina glared at me but loosened her shoulders and sat on the pillows and blankets in front of her fireplace.

“Fine.” She took her teacup and sipped it amicably.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine. Now drink your tea then leave.”

“You don’t _look_ okay.”

“It’s a good thing I never asked for your opinion.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just concerned for you, seeing as you still look sick.”

“I’m not sick.” She took a bite out of her cookie and laid farther back on the pillows. She didn’t seem to have noticed her hand drifting to cup her abdomen.

“I think you still are.”

“I’m not sick.”

“You are. You look pale.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“ _I’m not sick.”_ I should’ve taken the hint that I should drop the subject by the way she was baring her teeth and growling in a look she’s never given me before.

“You are and I can tell.”

“I’m not _sick_ , you imbecile!” My face scrunched up in almost physical pain.

“I am _not_ an imbecile. I will be telling daddy about this.”

“No you won’t.”

“I will, in fact, I’m going to inform Johanna right now.”

“No you won’t, Snow, please. It’ll be another secret of ours.”

“Not this time.”

“You can’t tell them I said that.”

“And why not?”

“Please don’t. I beg you.” Tears brimmed her eyes. “Please. You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t get in trouble by the king.” Her eyes glassed over with unshed tears, pulling right at my sympathy for her. Or maybe it was pulling on my adoration for her.

“But insubordination should be punished.”

“No. I don’t want that.”

“But that’s how it works. You do something bad and you get punished. Why don’t you want him finding out so bad?” Regina thought about it for some time, but her face stiffened back into their neutral expression, except for the glassy eyes.

“Leave. Please. It’s private business, what we’re talking about, but I don’t want you to tell. Please.” Like her ‘thank yous’, I had never heard her say please so many times in a row. I knew it must be serious if she’s _begging,_ so I nodded.

“I won’t tell, but you owe me a favour in return.” Regina nodded.

“Fine. It’s only fair, I suppose. Goodbye, Snow.”

“Bye.” I never liked being dismissed by Regina, because when I do, I never see her for days. She was in good hands with her chambermaids, but even after her assuring me she’s fine, she doesn’t _look_ like it. Even when she was riding, she always looks so lively on the back of Rocinante, but today, she looked mechanical.

As I was skipping through the halls, I stopped a servant with a basket of laundry. I requested she find Evelyn and ask her to meet in the sitting room. She nodded, bowed her head, and went on her way. I waited in the sitting room on the sofa, kicking my feet up and laying down on it.

“Your Highness, that’s not a very lady-like way to sit.” I smiled bashfully and sat upright, brushing down wrinkles in my dress. “Now what can I do for you?”

“It’s about Regina. She’s been off lately.”

“I’m aware.”

“She still isn’t well.”

“I’m also aware of that. I’m afraid Her Majesty is in denial of being ill, even if she hasn’t stopped vomiting.”

“She hasn’t?”

“No. It only happens in small periods of the day, but it hasn’t stopped.”

“What makes her think she can ride while she’s still sick and throwing up?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve offered to tell the doctor, but she keeps saying it’s a food-induced illness that will pass soon enough.”

“She’s been sick for three days. I think we might have to get her checked on.”

“But Your Highness—“

“I’m thinking of her wellbeing when I say that. If she cannot see she is sick and in need of bed rest, than let a professional tell her so. Please, fetch him for Regina.” She nodded.

“Of course. Hopefully a visit from him will do her good.” I smiled at the thought of her being happy and well again and nodded.

“Thank you.” She left the room, and I followed soon after. I considered going outside to wait until the doctor was done to see Regina again, but I just stayed in my bedchambers. I couldn’t find anything to do, but paint. I couldn’t find anything to paint, so I flipped through some old picture books I haven’t opened since I was little and found a picture of a rabbit. I was just starting to sketch out the shape of the rabbit when Regina burst through my door.

“You told me you wouldn’t call the doctor. I’m healing just fine and he confirms I am not sick.”

“You aren’t sick? But you’ve been throwing up for three days! It’s impossible to _not_ be sick after vomiting so much.”

“It’s very much possible. I told you I didn’t think I was sick, now will you please drop this?”

“What did the doctor say then?” Regina seemed to drift off before shaking herself back into reality.

“That I’m healthy as a horse.” I felt like that wasn’t the end of the story, and like always, I ignored all instincts to stop pushing Regina and instead pushed harder.

“That’s not all he said, and you know it.”

“Don’t be so rude. Drop your little interrogation this instant..”

“You never said ‘no’ to my earlier question.”

“Snow, do not be a brat.”

“I’m not a brat. I’m worried for you.”

“I don’t need you worrying for me. I have enough worry for myself. And I shall be telling your father about your behaviour as soon as he gets back.”

“Why? I didn’t do anything wrong?”

“You insulted my ability to realize when I am sick, you insisted that you were correct on your assumptions and summoned a doctor for me without my consent, and you interrogated me and assumed I was wrong about something the doctor said directly to me.”

“He won’t believe you.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Because. He loves me more than you.” Regina stiffened and clenched her jaw.

“He’ll believe me when I said his daughter was insolent and rude. Maybe if he listens, he’ll stop spoiling you rotten.” Regina stormed out of my room, nearly leaving a trail of smoke that showed just how furious she was. I turned back to my canvas and suddenly didn’t feel like painting.

I could admit that thinking about it, my behaviour was a little rude, but that was nothing compared to Regina’s verbal lashing. I was neither a brat, nor insolent. She was, for bursting through my door and telling me that I shouldn’t call a doctor for someone if they’re visibly sick. She seemed to have taken it very heavily, when it was only a doctor’s visit. I still had my suspicions about her visit with the doctor, and after consulting with him, she didn’t look any better.

My curiosities got the best of me as I ran down the halls. The doctor was just wheeling a wooden cart of medicines through the halls.

“Doctor! Wait one moment!”

“Your Highness. What can I do for you?”

“Can you tell me what’s wrong with Regina?”

“I’m afraid that’s confidential.”

“She gave me permission to ask you.”

“Are you sure? She didn’t even want her chambermaids in with her.”

“Very sure.” He looked around the empty hall, bent down, and gestured with his finger for me to come closer.

“The Queen is with child.” Just like that, my resolve was gone. Regina, with a child? It’s preposterous.

“There must be some mistake.”

“I heard the baby’s heartbeat myself.”

“That must’ve been Regina’s heart.”

“Unless Regina’s heart is located in her lower abdomen, it’s true.” So Regina _wasn’t_ lying when she said she wasn’t sick. She must’ve known she was pregnant. I didn’t know what to think of it. I was in love with my father’s wife, who is now pregnant with, technically, my half-sibling. If I didn’t have a chance with Regina _before,_ I doubt she’ll ever think of being with me _now._

I don’t want a sibling. I asked my mother for a sibling when I was seven, but that fantasy is long retired. I’m almost fifteen, and my father’s wife is pregnant. I’m really hoping daddy isn’t the father of the child, no matter how far-fetched that is, because I don’t want a sibling. I don’t _need_ a sibling.

I left the doctor in the hall, but he was the least of my worries. I decided I would let Regina tell daddy. Even if she didn’t tell him right away, he would figure it out as she and the baby grew.

I needed a moment to myself to sort out what I was feeling, because I couldn’t do it in here. I walked hastily through the corridors to the side entrance, leading out to the garden and stables. I bypassed the garden and strode straight to the stables. For my lessons, the stable girl was instructed by Regina to teach me everything about horses, including how to strap on the saddle and attach the reins.

I found my saddle on the side of the stall, right next to Rocinante. I smiled at Rocinante.

“You’re riding with me today,” I told him, grinning all the while. He gave a soft snort in response and nudged my hand with his muzzle. I ran my hand up and down, occasionally brushing his nose. “Let’s go for a ride.” I slid my foot into the stirrup and jumped up. It took a few tries, but I eventually got into the saddle and got my other foot over his back. I pulled on the reins, backing him out of the stall and towards the trail in the trees.

I followed the trail I knew so well until we reached the fork in the path. Instead of going left like daddy and the stable girl tells me, I go right. Going left will eventually just lead me back to the castle, and that’s where I’m trying to escape.

Winding through the messier trails, the end of the dirt road led me to a canyon. A river flowed steadily at the bottom, but the river was a long way down. I didn’t feel comfortable sitting on the cliff, in case the rocks gave out from under me, so I sat a few feet back and watched as nature continued around me, like I wasn’t there disturbing it’s peace.

I always felt connected with nature, in a way. In my textbooks, it says that humans are connected to nature, because before evolving, we were just like animals. I liked thinking about it, that we were once just like them before our intelligence got the better of us. It was much more tranquil thinking about that than thinking about Regina and her baby.

I didn’t think that baby would be my brother or sister. It’s too weird thinking about them like that, even if it’s my father’s child. I was too old to be an older sibling, and having a sibling with Regina as their mother was too much to think about. I could be their cousin, or their fun aunt, but not a sister. I didn’t _want to be a sister, so I won’t. That baby can be related to me, but it was too strange thinking of it as my sibling._

I wished Regina wasn’t pregnant. If things were perfect, she wouldn’t be married to daddy, we would be good friends, and maybe we would be more. I wished we would be more. That fetus was preventing it and at the moment, I hated every party involved. I hated every _thing_ involved.

Maybe Regina’s been miserable because of the baby. Maybe she doesn’t want a baby either. One thing is for sure, _I’ve_ been more miserable as of late with the baby.

Even if daddy didn’t marry her and she wasn’t pregnant, she doesn’t like me like that anyways. I felt stupid wanting to be close to her, to want to kiss her, and to want my father out of the picture so I could have a sliver of a chance with her. Maybe I was just stupid for being like this. It would be so much easier to find a prince than a pregnant queen. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try with her. Maybe it did. Only one way to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor, naive little Snow...


End file.
